


Tired

by holy_wow



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Comfort, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-01-23
Packaged: 2017-11-26 14:25:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holy_wow/pseuds/holy_wow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard went to meet Thane at the hospital and lashes out against his new philosophy and approach to his death. After a bad argument, for them especially, she returns to the Normandy. Specifically the bar on the ship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tired

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt from a good friend of mine. Basically write something for any OTP with the inspiration being Snow Patrol's song Just Say Yes.
> 
> I decided to dabble back into Mass Effect and Shrios. I have a horrible fascination with a Shepard that is really being broken down and just so tired by ME3 and how Thane pushing her away and the fight would make her feel especially. The comfort and safe haven something she would maybe need and then expecting it when she gets the email only for the conversation every Thanemancer dreads. The song referenced more probably the subtle context of what their argument was. But I decided to focus much more on the conclusion.

Shepard rested her head against the bar, sorely missing Kasumi. She and Kasumi had gotten close over the last suicide mission and Shepard liked having somebody to talk to. She was sane, she was intelligent, and she had her problems. She knew things. At least Kasumi had left the bar. That was considerate of the thief. James was sitting with her currently. The man refilling her drink, either being genuinely nice and considerate or-

“Damn Lola, you can drink.”

Or he was seeing how much she could hold down with the cybernetics and good ol’ fashioned need of drowning emotions. They were sharing stupid drunk stories because he was smart enough to at least realize she didn’t want to talk about what happened. He had one about the time he mixed alcohol and fireworks together. She told the one about how her walk of shame was a bit more difficult than normal because she was on the wrong fucking planet. He talked about the time he went out of his way to impress some drag queens. She shared what she remembered of that night that somebody got stabbed, nobody had pants left, and she rode a horse in freezing weather to find her lieutenant. First year out of boot camp had been a good year. Shepard sometimes wished she remembered more of it.

James was trying to come up with his next tale, taking care with his tequila while she downed what she could. Shepard was glad for James. Garrus wasn’t on the ship or she’d likely of gone to him. But James was doing damn good at keeping her mind off the problem. The problem being she finally saw Thane again and their reunion went down so well they were nearly kicked out of the hospital. She knew he was having problems facing his death. She didn’t blame him.

But she didn’t remember him being such a damn coward. Deciding to just sit back and do shit all. She comes back and he’s suddenly ready to just roll over. His biggest contribution planned in the fight against the actual Reapers being he’d make sure nobody touched Ashley in the hospital. Shepard had at first been in shock and then all but exploded on him. She’d been running on a short fuse and hadn’t meant to take it out all on him. He hadn’t deserved all of it. At least she hadn’t punched him. That’d of gone over well. Last thing she said to him was to congratulate him on accepting death and may he fucking enjoy that lie.

Only time you accepted death was when you were doing more than just staring at a clock. It was when you were battered down and broken, bleeding and there was so much pain you couldn’t feel it anymore. When you've given everything you could, and then gave it your soul and body and mind to make sure it happened. When your night was just that fucking bad. Maybe when there was some really bad vodka involved. Or all of the above. She’d been there. She knew.

She raised her head when EDI spoke. “Commander, Thane Krios has requested permission to come aboard.”

Shepard’s eyes went wide and James hummed. “Should tell him no. Make him work to get his ass in here.” James glanced at her. “As fucking ill as he apparently is tho it might fucking kill him to do so.” Shepard was getting drunk and was bitter. Not a good combination.

“Commander?”

Shepard stalled by taking a drink. James laughed, giving stupid advice. “Fuck it, Lola. Follow your _coño_!”

She stared at him a moment. “We’re both going to hell, Vega.”

“Last one there wins.”

She shook her head, grinning a little tho. “Let him in EDI.” James raised his glass in cheer. She finished her before pushing away and shuffling out. James wished her luck and poured himself another glass. Lucky bastard. She took the elevator up to her room, deciding Thane could damn well wait for the elevator to come back down for him. By the time he got up she’d have found her own stash of alcohol she had in the loft and have the bottle opened.

Except he was good about being too good and was there before she remembered where she stashed the bottle. Alliance had fucked up her loft so bad. Left the bed tho. And the aquarium. Why they left the aquarium with all the water she did not know. She still filled it with fish tho, and that was the first thing Thane noticed. He stepped in, noticing the bad lighting and that everything was blue. That she had new fish. That the hamster was still up on the shelf and her ships were still placed perfectly on display. She closed the box she was looking through and pushed it away and then stood. He watched her, waiting. She indicated to the couch but he didn’t budge. “Fine, Thane. What?” She crossed her arms.

His beautiful button eyes were unreadable until he spoke, gorgeous full lips parting as he took a deep breath. Worry suddenly filled his expression and Shepard was buzzed and bitter enough to not let it affect her. “You are drunk, Siha.”

“Not nearly,” she said with a wave. He frowned at her flippancy. “I’m a grown ass adult. And the ship won’t take off for another day. I know what I’m doing, Thane. Third time around I better fucking know.” The last part was said quietly and probably only because she had been drinking.

Thane looked almost hurt. That bothered Shepard and she clung to her anger. She was haggard, broken down, and growing tired. She had risked everything numerous times. She had all sorts of ideals to live up to. All sorts of shitty people to deal with. Heads to bash. Political ideals and damn ignorance to fight along with Reapers and Cerberus. She’d been fighting for years now the biggest, toughest fight the galaxy had to throw. Then she hadn’t been sleeping well. More nightmares, on top of her old ones. She was tired and lonely. She no longer was sure she believed they could win. Had to look like she did, for the others. 

But that was getting hard too. Fighting their disbelief, keeping them in the fight. She didn’t know what she was doing anymore. And fuck drinking had never made her depressed or whiney before. Fucking Reapers, she thought, clinging to that thought. He was silent when he crossed the room and so when Thane reached for her she jumped back. Her reaction slower than she would like and she shuffled away.

He slowly retracted his hand as she glared at him. Or pouted. A mixture of both really. “What do you want Thane?” she asked again.

Thane stared a moment, considering. He was always better with his words than her. His speeches. She wasn’t bad. Could come up with a damn good speech for the troops. But he was poetic. He reached out for her again, slowly this time. “I don’t want to leave you alone,” he said at last, looking so sad that she could just feel her walls crumbling. She could feel the shame edging in. Shepard didn’t push him away when he pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. She pressed her ear against him to hear his heartbeat, slowly wrapping her arms around his slender waist in return.

“I made an ass of myself,” she muttered, closing her eyes.

“I hurt you, Siha. I am sorry.” His chest rumbled as he spoke and she had missed that so much. Wanted it back so badly. “Come, you should rest.” He urged her towards the bed. She let him sit her down, watching him take her boots off. She didn’t want to rest. The nightmares always came. Shepard wasn’t sure how drunk she’d have to be to fight the cybernetics and the dreams.

She pulled off her hoodie and tossed it onto the chair by her desk before considering shimmying out of her pants. If she was going to sleep she might as well get comfortable. She was surprised when he started to take off his jacket and had a horrible poker face around him. Of course Thane noticed and froze. “Would you prefer that I left?”

“No,” she reached for him and he shed his coat quickly before crawling in with her, as if worried she would change her mind. Love was such a horrible thing, she thought as they touched. It was unfair how much she wanted and needed him now. This small moment. She pressed against him as he curled around her. “We’ll just put off the frantic make up sex for later.”

“Yes,” he said with a dry chuckle. “I’d prefer you completely sober for it, Siha.” That was probably a good idea considering when sober kissing him induced synesthesia. She kissed the skin of his chest she could reach anyway before snuggling closer. She closed her eyes and hoped he’d protect her from her dreams like he used to, his hand moving from combing in her hair to rubbing her back. The rumbling purr from his chest lulling her to sleep.


End file.
